Thousands of years ago, the human race worked together in small tribes, to find food and shelter. This environment motivated them to work together, share ideas and have clear expectations of their roles in the tribe. This would have given them a sense of purpose, being heard, connecting to others and a sense of safety. Over thousands and thousands of years this way of living has been genetically imprinted within each and every one of us. So we are born with the ability to learn, solve complex problems, interact empathically with others and connect with people around us. However this is not always the case.
Sometimes we feel disconnected from the people around us. I believe this is for a number of reasons which includes:
- Families and friends often living far apart due to the lure of better jobs and opportunities
- Distractions such as the internet, TV/Movies, gaming & busy lifestyles
- Not wanting to share our feelings through difficult times.
These influences can bring about feelings of little or no support nearby, isolating behaviour and a not sharing in times of need.
So how can we regain our genetic ability to connect to the people around us. I believe the answer is how we interact with the people in our local community.
This change can start subtly.
We can when walking in the street make eye contact with people, a nod of the head, but even better how about saying “good morning” in an upbeat fashion. I have been trying this for a few weeks. Not everyone responds, but we have to respect that they are on their own journey. Some people are taken by surprise, but still respond. Most people I say “good morning” smile I see a real change in their expression, like I’ve taken them out of a negative trance, they light up and respond gratefully.
I often wonder if my interaction with them had a positive effect on the rest of their day. Saying hello to the people around us could develop into a little chat, this change in our behaviour, will give a sense of connection, expression and achievement.
If you already say morning to people and are chatty, why not try this with new people or make a deeper connection to the ones you already chat with.
Obviously reducing our time on the internet, watching less TV/Movies, gaming less and making our lifestyles less busy would enable us to have more time to connect with others.
Joining new groups is also an ideal way to create connections. You have to choose what is appropriate for you as you know what you like. Here are some ideas;
Keep fit class, board gaming, dance, marshal arts, book groups, running clubs, art classes, weight loss groups, mums nights out, dads nights out, volunteering, charity events, cycling groups, racket games, basket ball, jewelry classes, language calls, pottery class to name a but a few. If anything else popped into your head, try that first.
Local community centers are also a good place to look for activities, searching the Internet, pin boards in GP surgeries, cafes and local shops will hold local group activates.
If one doesn’t quite work out, keep trying until one or more sparks your interest and stick with it, you’re starting your new path to other possibilities.
Better still why not start a group of your own. Find something you have a passion for, an interest in or just something want to explore. You can get the word out though the people around you, on local pin boards or create a group on line; which are all free.
Trying new things is the key to change, move forward with a plan to connect with others, as this will brighten your future and give you confidence. Let me know how you get on. Enjoy the journey.
